Innertube With Destiny
by iheartkatamari
Summary: Oneshot. Hilarity ensues as Kid Muscle's attempts at cleaning Roxanne's yard are repeatedly thwarted by a stubborn inner tube with a mind of its own. Based off of an MGM cartoon.


**This is my first Ultimate Muscle oneshot. The storyline combines the elements of the MGM cartoon "Innertube Antics" and the Mickey Mouse cartoon "Little Whirlwind." (Honestly, after watching Innertube Antics I could **_**totally **_**picture Kid Muscle in a situation like this!) Please enjoy!**

It's a lovely summer day in Japan. Kid Muscle, who's wearing a yellow bucket hat, a white t-shirt with red-trimmed sleeves and collar, light blue shorts, and white sneakers(1) is strolling leisurely through his neighborhood, whistling merrily. As he's passing his girlfriend's house, a delicious aroma wafts by and(literally!) socks him right in the nose. Kid levitates into the air and floats off after the scent.

"Mmm…" he says dreamily. "Roxanne must be bakin' a cake. Next to rice and cow, cake's my favorite food; I wonder if she'll let me have a piece." Just before Kid reaches the windowsill, however, Roxanne, not knowing he was there, quickly closes the window, causing him to flop to the ground. The wrestler then quickly rights himself and gently raps at the window.

Roxanne, who's wearing a pink t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and yellow sandals, as well as an apron, is sifting flour when she hears the rap. She traipses over to the window and sees Kid standing there, upon which she opens it. "Howdy, Roxanne." he cheerfully greets her.

"Howdy, Kid."

"Well say, I noticed that you were bakin' a cake, and I was wonderin' if there was a spare piece that I could have."

"Sure, Kid. It just needs to bake a little bit longer, then I need to clean up my yard while it's cooling before I can ice it."

Thinking that Kid's about to leave, Roxanne then closes the window and goes back to what she's doing. "Well say, I could help clean your yard." Kid says.

Unfortunately, Roxanne can't quite make out his reply. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I could help clean your yard."

"Excuse me," Roxanne walks back over to the window and opens it. "How was that?"

"I SAID I'LL HELP CLEAN YOUR YA-" Kid bellows with enough force to send everything in the kitchen flying; he quickly claps his hand over his mouth in embarrassment when he realizes what he's done. "Oops, heh heh, sorry, I'll, uhm, help you clean your yard."

"Thank you, that would be very nice." replies a still slightly shaken Roxanne.

"Okay, Sweetie, it's a deal!" the wrestler rushes off and returns in a heartbeat carrying a massive array of gardening tools. "You won't know the place when I get through." he says, as he traipses off to do his job.

_That's what I'm afraid of. _a concerned Roxanne thinks.

Kid rushes out into the yard; unfortunately, he wasn't watching where he was going, and ended up stepping on a shovel, which whacks him in the nose. "Ow." the wrestler cringes, rubbing his sore nose. He then takes the shovel and sticks it in the ground. "There, that oughta' do it." As soon as he's begun to walk away, however, the shovel rattles around and pops back out again.

"Huh?" Kid rushes back over to the shovel and jams it back in the ground with more force. "There, it oughta' stay now." No sooner has he turned his back, though, than it pops back out again.

Kid slowly walks over to the shovel, picks it up, and looks it over. "There's something weird about this shovel," he muses. "Maybe if I stick it _deeper _into the ground, it won't pop out." The wrestler shoves the shovel's entire head into the ground, then stands over it and watches it. Sure enough, the shovel begins rattling around, pops up, and smacks him in the face. "Ow again…"

Suddenly, out of the hole where the shovel had once been pops an orange rubber inner tube(which turned out to be what had prevented the shovel from sticking). "Well, no wonder!" Kid exclaims; he walks up to the inner tube and looks at it, upon which it slaps him in the face several times, and gives a little hissing laugh. "Wise guy." he grumbles, as he grabs the inner tube and attempts to pull it up from the ground. "Gotta get this inner tube outta here before Roxanne sees."

He drags it out quite a ways, until it snaps back and shoots him across the yard, where he just avoids sitting on a nearby pickaxe! The wrestler nervously tiptoes backwards; when he sees it's safe, he slowly sits down. "Aaugh!" he then suddenly leaps up and picks a gardening fork(Which he hadn't seen before he sat!) off of his bum. The inner tube laughs a hissing laugh at him again. Kid scowls at it, "You think you're so smart!"

The wrestler walks up to the inner tube and looks at it musingly. "Hmm, perhaps if I try something different…" he then notices a wooden stepladder behind him. "Ah, perfect!" He grabs the inner tube again and drags it backwards up the ladder. Unfortunately, no sooner has he reached the top of the ladder than the inner tube snaps back again, sending him flying, ladder and all, back into the middle of the yard.

Kid winds up face down in the dirt, tangled up in the remains of the ladder. He quickly boots the ladder away and tries to stand up, but soon discovers that the inner tube is wrapped around his neck, and falls back down. "What a revoltin' development." he grumbles, as he yanks the inner tube out, stands up, and stomps down on it with both feet. Suddenly, the inner tube springs back and wraps him up like a large, misshapen bagworm. "Aw, _great_!" the wrestler grumbles. "How am I gonna get outta this mess?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly spots a series of lawn sprinklers sticking out of the ground. "Ahh, this'll do the trick!" He crawls across the yard on his belly and grabs one of the sprinkler heads in his teeth. Almost immediately thereafter, the inner tube snaps back, sending him flying across the yard, taking the entire sprinkler system with him. Kid looks in horror at Roxanne's wrecked sprinkler system, which he's now tangled up in. "Yikes! I'm gonna have to fix this later…" He's barely said these words when the sprinklers progressively douse him with water.

Kid, who's by now growing _very _aggravated with the inner tube, grabs it and angrily drags it out again. "I'll show _you _a thing or two, wise guy!" After he's gone a ways, however, the inner tube snaps back again, sending him skidding across the yard on his head(2), then skidding backwards over rocks, "Ooh! Oww! Yipe! Ooch!" , and into a wheelbarrow, which careens across the yard, until it hits a bump and sends the wrestler flying into a spinning clothesline, where he spins around wildly like a mad carousel before coming to an abrupt halt.

"Ughh…where am I?" a dazed Kid groans; he then turns around to see the inner tube laughing a hissing laugh at him again. Kid feels his anger building. "All right, now _this _is happenin'!" He pounces on the inner tube, drags it out, ties it to the base of the clothesline, and begins winding the clothesline around in a circle. "Ha _ha_, take _that_!" He only gets so far, however, when the inner tube quickly unwinds and sends him flying into the air, holding the whirling clothesline. "Uh-" Kid begins, upon which the clothesline stops whirling, and he goes plummeting down. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Fortunately, Kid's fall is broken by telephone wires. Unfortunately, the aforementioned shocks him like a mosquito caught in a bug zapper upon contact. "Aaughhh!" he cries, as the shock causes him to lose his grip on the clothesline and fall through the roof of Roxanne's shed, ultimately landing in the seat of a riding lawnmower. The wrestler looks up disconcertedly at the hole in the roof. "Rats. I'd better remember to fix _that _later, too." From outside, Kid hears the inner tube laughing its hissing laugh at him again. "You and your tricks," the wrestler glowers. "Well, I'll get the better of you yet!" He looks down at the riding mower with a thoughtful look on his face. "And I think I may have just figured out how."

Kid walks casually up to the inner tube, hiding a hoe behind his back; once he's close to it, he quickly tethers the inner tube down with the hoe, grabs it up, and drags it over to the shed. He wraps the inner tube around the riding mower's right back wheel, hops into the mower, and starts the engine. The inner tube rapidly wraps around the wheel as the mower revs into gear. A contented smile spreads across Kid's face. "Mmn. This oughta' get the better of that wise guy inner tube yet." Unfortunately, he had no sooner said this when the inner tube slowly begins to drag the wheel backwards. Suddenly, the inner tube snaps back, dragging out all of the mower's insides and spreading all over the yard. Kid doesn't notice this until he falls through the mower's empty shell and lands on the floor.

"Huh?" the wrestler stands up, picks up the shell, and looks it over, trying to figure out what in the world happened. His curiosity is quickly brought to a conclusion when he looks over his shoulder and sees all of the mower's parts strewn all over the yard; he gasps, "Ohmigosh! I'd _really _better remember to fix _that _later!"

The inner tube laughs its hissing laugh at Kid again; its levity is cut short at the sight of Kid rushing out of the shed, holding a hammer. "Uh oh!" it hisses, as the wrestler tethers it to one of the hooks at the base of a telephone pole and whacks it hard. Inevitably, the recoil then sends him springing into the air, where he ultimately hits the telephone wires again, gets zapped profusely, then plummets back to the ground. "No, _no_!" the wrestler moans. "Not _twice _in the _same episode_!(3)"

Growing _extremely _aggravated at this point, Kid rushes back to the shed. "I'll get you yet, wise guy, just _see _if I don't!" Shortly thereafter, he comes back toting a firecracker, which he proceeds to tie to the inner tube. He then takes a book of matches out of his pocket and lights the firecracker, which goes whizzing through the air, stretching the inner tube for miles, until it finally latches onto the top of the telephone pole. "Finally," a relieved Kid sighs. "I think I've finally found something that works…at least, I hope so."

He begins running up the outstretched inner tube; unfortunately, he doesn't get too far before he begins to lose his balance and jitters and bounces back down. "Huh." the wrestler pauses and scratches his head for a second. He then crouches down on all fours and begins crawling up the inner tube; he manages to get pretty far this time before he begins jittering and springing around again, and ends up dangling from the inner tube like a monkey on a branch.

Kid climbs to the top of the pole and unlatches the inner tube, upon which it wraps around his feet and begins to drag him down; he pulls back with all his might and eventually overpowers the inner tube, which springs rapidly up from the middle of the yard, dredging up a massive amount of garbage, old tires, and rusty pipes(Which it had been tied to all along!) up with it, leaving an enormous hole in the middle of the yard. The massive pile of detritus flies through the air and smashes into Kid, sending him plummeting into Roxanne's fountain with a resounding _SPLASH!_

Meanwhile, Roxanne has just put the finishing touches on the cake; she picks the cake up and strolls toward the front door, humming merrily. As soon as she sets foot outside, she suddenly gasps at the sight of the garbage strewn all over her yard, the mangled sprinkler system, the demolished riding mower, and the massive hole in the ground. When her gaze eventually stops on Kid, who's floating on top of the fountain, her aggravation begins to grow. The wrestler sits up and nervously tips his hat. "Ah, eheh….surprise!"

Roxanne quickly shuts off the fountain, causing Kid to fall in; she then picks the cake back up and glowers at him. The wrestler slowly climbs out of the fountain, removes his hat, dumps a veritable tank-full of fish into the water, then looks up at his girlfriend shamefacedly. "Well, uh, I, ah, guess I don't get the cake now?"

"Oh, you _get it _alright!" Roxanne replies.

Kid's face brightens. "Really? Ooh, thanks! Let me have it!"

_SPLAT!_ Roxanne promptly throws the cake in his face. Kid licks up the drops of icing as they drip down from his head. "Mmm, chocolate peanut butter fudge, my favorite!"

**The end.**

Voice Cast

Kid Muscle-Marc Thompson

Roxanne-Lisa Ortiz


End file.
